Four international executives are playing golf. On the third hole a ringing sound is heard. The British golfer fumbles in his bag, picks out his cellular phone, turns away from his partners and has a brief conversation.”Terribly sorry chaps, but one has to keep one’s finger on the pulse and all that.” His companions murmur acknowledgment. On the fourth hole there is another ring. The American says “excuse me”, places his thumb to his ear and holds his pinkie near his mouth, and has an [...]

486 – The average IQ needed to understand a P.C. State – of – the – art – Any computer you can’t afford. Obsolete – Any computer you own. Microsecond – The time it takes for your State – of – the – art computer to become obsolete. Syntax Error – “Hello, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.” GUI (pronounced “gooey”) – What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. Computer Chip – Any starchy food stuff consumed [...]

I. Any given program, when running, is obsolete. II. Any given program costs more and takes longer. III. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed. IV. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented. V. Any program will expand to fill available memory. VI. The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output. VII. Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capabilities of the programmer who must maintain it. VIII. Any non-trivial program contains [...]